Don’t use dating apps. Turn your phone off, then walk up to a girl and ask her out. A man’s gotta feel that self-consciousness and uncomfortable uncertainty. It’s been a rite of passage for centuries.
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The process of life is necessarily difficult.
We need to do things the hard way to gain the benefits of the struggle. Feeling uncomfortable when asking a lady out is a part of this necessary difficulty. When things become too easy and gratification too immediate, we can’t grow up. And a life lived as an infant is a life devoid of self-reliance and responsibility.
A generation that doesn’t have to work to get a date or get out of their comfort zone to find a lady or one that doesn’t have to work and persist to get an award is a generation that will quit, cry, and complain when the harsh realities of the world slap them in the face.
It’s almost an insane request, to put down the dating apps and put yourself out there completely vulnerable and often lacking all confidence. Why would you not use an app that you can sift through those you think look good from those you don’t and enter immediately into a conversation on a phone where you can put forth a persona without the exposing filter of face-to-face conversation?
In the name of self-improvement and becoming a tougher, better, grittier man, it makes sense. In the world of quick fixes, it doesn’t.
You have to think about what your end goal is.
Is it to bed as many women as possible with as little work as possible?
In this case, it still benefits you to learn how to talk to beautiful women face-to-face because when you do enter those uncomfortable social situations you’ll know what to do. You’ll have the confidence that comes from failure.
Is it to be someone?
That is, is your goal to become someone better than who you are now?
Maybe you see getting a date with a babe as a step to becoming that guy. A nice lady on your arm is always a bonus. But how you get that date is more important than actually getting that date.
It’s akin to earning versus inheriting.
It’s tough to respect someone who’s inherited their money and acts like it’s them who earned it. It’s much easier to respect someone who’s actually earned wealth by working hard, being frugal, and providing a valuable service.
One’s a loser, the other’s a winner.
Just because you have the lady doesn’t mean you’re a winner. What matters, to an extent, is how you got her.
Please, get her the old school way, the natural way, the incredibly uncomfortable way. You don’t have to be smooth, you don’t need to be a talker, you just have to be interested and interesting. And every one of us can be either or both.
