You Don’t Have Haters (because they don’t actually exist)

We live in a weird culture.

One where much of what we focus on isn’t real or worthy of our attention.

It’s a culture that focuses almost entirely on the individual. We’re after our dreams, our goals, we’re even trying to do all we can, we’re consolidating all of our resources, for a damn emotion (happiness). (Read This: The Truth About Happiness)

So it makes sense when we call people who disagree with us or write nasty things about us or correct us or have a different idea of what we should be doing without lives, haters.

The term ‘haters’ is everywhere, and it’s being applied to anyone who doesn’t agree with you.

We’re acting like petulant children when we use this term, when in reality, haters don’t exist.

Start off with the obvious, that most people are worrying about their own shit and they don’t actually care about what you have going on.

Take it further and onto the internet and you’ll find people that write some pretty hateful things, well, they’re not haters either. They don’t hate you, they’re just idiots. Maybe they lack confidence and want to gain confidence by putting someone else down. Maybe they’re lazy, and they don’t work, and they spend all day commenting on the lives of others.

When you think of ‘online haters’ like this, you see that they don’t hate you in the slightest. They hate themselves above all else.

Haters, oddly enough, is also applied to people who care about us. We call them ‘haters’ when they don’t have the same confidence in what we’re doing as we do. We call them haters when they question the path we’re taking.


How is this hate? Isn’t it concern?

I do a horrible job of explaining what I do for a living, so it’s no wonder that my parents didn’t have the same faith I did that this gig would work out. They genuinely wanted and always have wanted what’s best for me. Other guys in the same situation, be it with family or friends, actually think of these doubters as haters. Holy hell!

We apply the term ‘hater’ to our best of friends who actually know who we are and will call us out on our bullshit!

We need these people more than anyone else yet because they’re not ‘yes men’, we rid them from our lives.

Loyalty has been thrown away and in its stead, superficial relationships thrive.

Sure, you don’t want to be around negative people, but if you care about them, call them out on their negativity while also seeing how you’re negative and in what ways you can improve. (Read This: False Expectations Can Be Crushing)

Get down from your pedestal and be a human.

You don’t have haters.

People don’t hate you.

If there’s hate, it’s either your hate for yourself or their hate for themselves, but people aren’t sitting around thinking about you and what you’re doing all day. They have their own quest and focus and life to live.

Stop acting like a petulant child.

Haters don’t exist. You don’t have haters. You have people in your life, some better than others, but if you’re any kind of a leader, you should be helping these people improve not looking down at them from your glass castle.