Man Up Monday: Let Go Of Your Excuses And You’ll Find Opportunity

I had a guy email me the other day complaining that he didn’t know the right people in his industry to really see the success he wanted to see. It’s a common myth that who we know is yet another thing that is out of our control. A great example is Napoleon Hill, a guy who sought out the relationships of the guys he wanted to learn from. Or Chris Gardner, a guy who knew none of the right people in the industry he wanted to break into, yet did what he had to do to build the relationships that would help him learn and develop the skills that would bring success.

Do some people know more than others? Of course. That doesn’t mean that who you are and who you know right now is all that you’re left with. Almost everything is within your control. Your thoughts, your actions, your energy levels, your emotions, you can control them and use them to improve and grow.

“I don’t know the right people” is just another excuse in the long line of excuses we make for ourselves, essentially excusing ourselves from success, from effort, and from reaching our true potential.

Here’s a tip before we move on: If you want to build better relationships with people you respect and admire, do not network. Don’t go to them seeking something from them. Be of service. That’s it. If you’re of service, you’ll find that the people that have “made it”, are some of the most genuine and generous people around, and if you’ve shown that you’re not one to waste some good advice, or an opportunity, they’re give you one or the other or both.

The warrior sees everything as a challenge. Most see everything as a blessing or a curse. Nothing is a curse. It’s impossible to see it as such if you’re a warrior, leading a warrior’s life.

A warrior can’t have excuses because excuses give us an out. They allow us to take it easy, “to take plays off”, days off.

Rid your life of excuses if you want to live the life you’re capable of living. (Read this: 10 Qualities of a Modern Day Warrior)

The fallacy of happiness is that people identify it incorrectly. They get lost in the myth of ease, that happiness isn’t working, then when they feel as though they have no value, no purpose, they get depressed and have lost the ability to hustle and create value and purpose.

Have a mission, a vision, a goal.

When you have something to work towards, the journey, not the destination, will be that thing that brings happiness and meaning into your life.

Hustle not to earn money, thinking that money will bring you meaning or value, hustle for the pure enjoyment of the struggle. It’s within this struggle where you’ll find meaning and purpose and a happiness that can’t be shaken by loss or failure, it’s indestructible.

We like to make excuses for other people. We like to have reasons as to why they’re fat or weak or broke. We blame society and societal structures. We blame history and capitalism and socialism.

We blame the system. What we don’t blame is the individual.

People don’t need your pandering. They don’t need another excuse to fail, they need a reason to win.

People don’t need you to feel sorry for them, they don’t need your pity, they need your faith.

When you give people an excuse, a way out, some underlying reason or construct as to why things are the way they are, the majority will take it and use it to fail.

The problem is in the logic. Within each class or body type or birthplace, there are success stories. There is proof. When you do what they did to succeed, you open doors for yourself. When you listen to the people that want to feel sorry for you, you give yourself a way out, devoid of work and sacrifice and persistence, where mediocrity and failure are sure to be your companions.

Going to the gym is a battle. Sitting down to work is also often a battle. But the real battle begins when our focus wanes and our energy levels dissipate. (Try this: 7 Ways to Improve Focus and Productivity)

This is where champions are made, and the first step is being aware of the mental fatigue and waging that war on your terms.

Set a timer when you’re working, and force yourself to stay focused for every minute within that time. Do the same with your workouts, vow to not lose focus before your job is complete.

If you win this mini battle you’ll win the war of living life on your terms and actually leaving a finger print on this fine planet while you’re here.

When you think that the world is set up to make you fail, when wealth is only attained if you’re born wealthy, well, you’re just not going to try your hardest because what’s the point?

The truth is that you can become rich if you’re born into poverty. You can make a million dollars if you’re currently broke. Is it easy? Hell no, that’s why so few people do it, but you can do it.

I’m okay if you don’t believe this fact, that just means less competition for those who ARE willing to work. But I’d rather see you build the life you want, so wake up, stop complaining and whining and seeing the world as it isn’t. See it as it is.

It’s a hard, tough road, but it is possible for you to build the life you want to build.

Trying to be successful is a battle. Trying to focus for 5 minutes on your work is a battle. Trying to save money and make money is a battle.

Trying to build your ideal body is a battle.

Please tell me you have a strategy…

Step back and make sure you’re going at everything with a plan and a course of action. If you want help with the last one just let me know – [email protected]

When you push through a set and squeeze out one more rep, you become tougher, you fight pain and win.

When you lift a weight you’ve never lifted for a rep count you never thought you could, you open your mind to new possibilities.

The training of your body in the gym translates to other areas of your life. Just be aware of these battles when you’re training. Be aware of your weakness asking you to stop or quit or go home early.

Like all things, the gym is a battle, you’d best fight it on your terms. (Read this: Building Mental Toughness In The Gym)

We reward ourselves if we do something once, but that single success should just be evidence that we can repeat it as many times as we want.

Work hard, sure, but do it everyday. Win, and win everyday.

Don’t be satisfied with one and done, let that one inspire you to do it over and over again until you’ve accomplished what you REALLY want.

Our glorification of things is incredible. We place our hopes and dreams on the incurrence of things that have no real value, and we wonder why they leave us feeling empty after we’ve bought them.

We are, essentially, idiots. We avoid asking life’s tough questions, we’d rather buy something to distract us from the void, the loneliness, the meaninglessness of what we’re doing. (Read this: How to Conquer Loneliness)

We buy things that we don’t want to impress people that we don’t need to impress.

Forget about these people, imagine that they didn’t exist, nor did their opinions.

What do you REALLY want in life?

Buy the things above, by all means, but don’t expect them to make you happy.

We don’t talk about it a heck of a lot, but money is an important thing and most of us fear it, waste it, or worry about it.

We spend our money on distractions, rather than using it to help us create the life we want to live.

If you don’t have a specific budget (something I’ve only recently implemented myself) you’re going to spend money on things that bring you away from your greater goal.

Create a budget. Know where your money is going and have it go to things that bring you value, not things that distract you.

More Man Up Monday: Always Be Improving