Why We Train

It Isn’t About Us: Why We Train

Don’t be fooled by the fitness magazines, the “fitness guru” blogs, sites, and articles, you don’t train to get a six pack. I don’t care what age you are, you’re not in the gym, working hard simply to build confidence or to get stronger, at least that’s not where it ends. Our reasons for training aren’t selfish, like we may think, or are told to believe.

Why I Really Train

There are two kinds of men… There are protectors, defenders, and warriors, then there are victims, cowards, and worriers. I hate to make this comparison. It hurts me to say it like it is in this instance, but it needs to be said simply so we can all become the former, and rid any part of the latter from who we are – on some level, we have both within us, but the warrior within is what we need to release, he’s also why we train.Why We Train

Most days I work from home. The silence, the space, the access to tasty, healthy foods all make for a great work environment. Some days, however, I head to the nearest Starbucks, pop in my headphones, and let Bruce (Springsteen) or Johnny (Cash) blur the noise and give way to the muse.

Today is one such day.

I sit down, open my laptop, espresso and large glass of water to my right, about to start writing when I’m given a glimpse into two different kinds of men.

In front of me and to my left, is a dad sitting with his two daughters, and one of their boyfriends. In front of me and to my right, a father sitting with his wife and daughter.

I’ve seen the guy on the left before. I’ve seen him – his essence – too many times. In this instance, he’s overweight, but he could be underweight, feeble, and weak, that’s not the issue, the main issue is that he’s timid. He isn’t the protector he’d like to be. He’s not the alpha, the warrior that you can tell he has somewhere deep down dying to get out, but pushed down and suppressed by years of weakness.

You can tell a lot about the kind of guy he is by how his daughter’s boyfriend treats her. His hands are all over her, it’s as if her father isn’t even there. He has his hand on her leg, he kisses her, when her dad says something, she snarls at him, belittles him, and he takes it.

The boyfriend tells him what they’re going to do. He pays for his girlfriend, takes control of the conversation – this boyfriend isn’t even much to look at, but he’s in control, the father isn’t.

It breaks my heart to see this guy. To see a guy that isn’t who he wants to be physically, socially, or even financially. It’s like life has kicked his ass one too many times, and he’s taken it every single time. He’s lost his fight. He’s so disconnected from the warrior within that a child – my guess is a 15 year old – can walk all over him, and take command of his family.

If this father took control over only one aspect of his life, if he built a more powerful body, took pride in how he looked and performed, this power would translate to other areas of his life. It would open the door to him being the protector for his family. The gatekeeper. The MAN.

Then I look to my right, to the second guy…

The man sits with his beautiful wife and daughter – the daughter’s a cutie, so most of my initial attention is towards her, but then I notice how he’s carrying himself in comparison to the guy to my left.

He looks strong, powerful – both in how he carries himself, his physique, and his demeanor. He’s in charge. He’s his families protector. He dresses well, not overdone as to look vain, but he cares about how he looks, but more importantly he cares about his family. He shows that love by being able to physically protect them. He shows it through caring about what goes in to his body, and how it can perform. He’s clearly trying to stick around for the long haul – green tea in hand while the other guy is drinking the empty calorie monstrosity that is the Frapuccino.

The two men sit in front of me.

I make generalizations and have no real insight into their character or who they are, but what I see hurts. I feel for the guy on my left. It’s not simply because his family walks all over him, or that they have a lack of respect for him as a father and as a man – although that’s apparent and it’s tough to see – but that they don’t feel his love through who he is.

They don’t feel his warrior spirit by how he cares for his own body. He’s a heart attack waiting to happen, and yet, he’s stuffing his face with a doughnut and a Frapuccino.

Continue on Page 2>>>

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  • Mike

    Thanks Chad- just what I wanted to hear… just about to start your fitness tips this week and I was already feeling intimidated. This might get me through the week with actual motivation.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Hope it does man – don’t be intimidated either, just work hard and do your best. You’ll improve fast if you just follow my tips.

  • Pete Tansley

    So true Chad!

    I always tell people to be crystal clear on their “why”, especially after the first 2 or 3 months when the fun of workouts can wear off for some people. The longer vision, the better – see your great grandkids wed, see you grandkids buy their first home – as long as it’s more than just a selfish reason, it is worthy.

    Thanks for a great read.


    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Anytime man, thanks for always participating on here. Really appreciate it.

  • andy

    great article

  • Alon

    You’re a boss, Chad.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks brother!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Iulian-Novac/1371663959 Iulian Novac

    You wrote “parents” instead of “children” on the second page when you’re saying “I haven’t met them yet.” Great article besides this. Cheers!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks for pointing that out – I’ll get that fixed.

  • Shogun

    Don’t you dare attack my beloved Frapuccino! It’s one of the only cheats I have left. :)

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      hahah if it’s a cheat it’s all good man!

  • Leonard

    Chad . As a guy about to turn fifty. Thank You for this timely reminder.
    You have the wisdom of a sage.

    You guys out there who read this article. Beware and choose to be the warrior not the worrior. It just been in the last few months I finally got this.

    Choose who you will be will make decades of a difference in how you will look back at your life. Also learn to rewrite your life stories to empower not disempower you. The worrier in me see 40 plus jobs as a failure. The warrior in me seesacquired knowledge skill and differnt ways the were not the path for me.

    Chad you helped find my why with this article.

    • Chad

      Leonard, thanks for the comment man! You have a great perspective. Thanks for passing on YOUR wisdom.

  • moises

    Thanks Chad! great article!

  • soe

    Great article Chad!

  • steve

    Thanks chad,
    im 16 and im recovering from abuse and psychological problems. I’m 6ft &weigh 130 and finally saved money for a gym membership yesterday. Im super sore today but the good kind of sore you know. Reading your blog has inspired me and i want to be a writer as well. Thanks man, if you could do an article on bulking on a budget that be great!!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Shit man, sorry to hear about the abuse etc… Hopefully it’ll make you stronger brother. Glad I can provide some inspiration.

  • Necropants

    Some men build their bodies to protect the weaker in a selfless manner. Some men build their bodies to act as tyrants to those that are too weak to protect themselves in a selfish manner. Be careful to generalize too much based on looks alone. Some men find confidence in other things than being lean and muscular.

    • Chad

      Agreed. By being on this site, and by improving your body (performance-wise, and aesthetically), I’m assuming you’re a protector, not an abuser.

  • Robi

    you make some good points but I don’t agree with everything..to be in good shape to be better protector,warrior for your family?..sure,this is all good,but you can be all that even if you’re not in great shape. I agree,training is important but to be a warrior,strong body is not enough. Many people workout, warriors train! I know many great people who are great protectors and warriors but they are not in good physical shape..we all have our differents lifes and we all must be warriors in them,but to be that kind of a warrior that your posts speak about – well, not all people are made for this…(just take a look in ancient Sparta, if you weren’t good material for warrior, they killed you or sent you to do something else..).

    all in all, You have great posts, love reading them, keep up the good work Chad!
    greets from Slovenia


    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Hey man thanks for the comment.
      I agree with you, you don’t need it, but if we’re going to be at our very best – I mean our ideal, our ultimate self – don’t you think that being in great shape would be, at the very least, an important piece of that puzzle?

      Not everyone needs it, but it’s a good characteristic and attribute to have. Great points and it’s awesome having you on the site by the way.

      • Robi

        yes definitely, being in shape is our basic goal..human body is made for movement,training..it would be a waste not to train it and see all the potential. You evolve through physical training, you upgrade other area of your life..that’s what I love about it.

        but,like I said,not everyone like this,it would benefit them for sure,but we all have different path in our lives..your blog is a great way to inform and inspire that kind of people so they can discover their true powers, I love this!

        stay strong man 😉


      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Great perspective – really appreciate it.

  • http://www.deanphillips.net/ Dean Phillips

    All great journeys start with “Why”.

    It’s one question I ask my clients and readers often.

    Why do you want to change, why do you want to do that work. It’s only then we know the reason, that reason can carry us a long the journey.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Well said man. Most important question for sure.

  • Sonny

    Great site , love it here.
    I’ve been looking at the powerhowse challenge but I really love training at home so was wondering if you could have a blog post listing the equipment we would need to do the challenge from home.. thanks

  • Nick Jones

    Excellent post… Everytime out at night with my gf I can’t help but think what if? What if something were to happen? I’m glad to know I’m more prepared than most… but always working to get better.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Always improving is the key. If we’re not, we’re stagnant. If we’re stagnant, we’re dead.

  • http://twitter.com/SteviePThatsMe Stephen Parato

    Great article, Chad. It definitely cuts to the core of fitness motivation. Thanks for this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1054230093 Cliff Bardelli

    I’ve been reading your stuff for a while now, great article as usual Chad

  • Reese Huddleston

    This is the best article you have written in my opinion. It’s so good, I think young man on the verge of becoming a true adult man should read it. Just subtract the random fornication and it’s worth tons of awards!

  • Kobi

    Hey..could u add me on fb scottkobi@yahoo.com??