I turned on the radio this morning, a rarity in my vehicle, and what I heard was yet another reason why I prefer cd’s and audiobooks. ‘Twas a voice of a lady, of the hippie variety, providing guys with “healthy” meals to eat during this year’s Super Bowl. “I have a divine cabbage role recipe”, she said to the reporter who applauded her attempts to get men eating healthier on Sunday’s where watching football is our main, if not only, form of activity.
“Cabbage roles during the Super Bowl?” I said out loud with an annoyed tone, disgusted that a hemp-bracelet wearing hippie is giving men advice that would not only diminish the quality of a great event, but ostracize them from their tribe of friends.
While eating healthy is important – I, of course, run a health and fitness web site geared towards getting men to become optimal – this is, alas, the fucking Super Bowl! No man in their right mind is going to ruin this day in the name of “health”. Not to mention the fact that with an abundance of cabbage comes an even greater abundance of flatulence. So while this cabbage-eating fella may be “sticking to his diet”, he’ll be farting his friends out of the room, continuing with his self ostracization.
Do what you want with your body, but never ruin the Super Bowl for other men. Ever!
Should You Eat Healthy During the Super Bowl?
Hellz no! This is the one day a year you and your pals gather to cheer on men in tights throwing balls through the air in an attempt to cross into a zone at either end of the field. This is a glorious day that shant be tempered or dampened by a lack of fine meat foods and even finer beverages. This is our day. No dieting shall take place. None!
So what are we to do?
We want to enjoy ourselves, but we don’t want to ruin all the hard work we’ve put in.
a. One day ain’t a thang. It’s going to do nothing negative to your body from a long term standpoint.
But you can use a massive, one-day binge to your advantage. Here’s how to eat like a man on the Super Bowl.
Pig out. Eat whatever you want. Today is your day and seize it. The day after is where you’re going to use the wangs and thangs to help you shrink your waistline. Monday, that Super Bowl hangover of a day, is going to be a complete fast.
This is nothing groundbreaking. It is, however, something you can do to ensure you’re enjoying the beers, and chips, and wings, completely guilt free. By eating the crap that exists on Super Bowl Sunday, you’re feeding yourself enough for two days. You’re also increasing your leptin – a fat burning hormone that’s spiked with an increase in carbohydrates – making the next day a great day to fast as you’re not providing yourself any “fuel”, so the increase in leptin will help you use your stored body fat as fuel to an even greater degree than you normally would.
What do have on your fast day:
Nothing. Drink a ton of water and enjoy coffee or tea, but no milk, sweets, veggies, or juices. Just fast and let your body consume its fat. So simpo.
Genuinely Want to Eat Healthy? Do This and Still Eat Like a Man…
For those of you who do want to eat healthy, yet still enjoy the festivities. It can still be done.
For starters, the “cabbage rolls” aren’t healthy. Meat is far healthier than quinoa wrapped in cabbage. It’s the fats from meats that naturally increase your testosterone levels. So eat, and enjoy. Here’s what to do…
Your booze: red wine.
Your food: eat wings like they’re going out of style, but they have to be baked, breadless, and sauceless (unless it’s hot sauce, which is all good). Stay away from chips and all that crap. Enjoy veggies with a bit of dip. If you pig out on wangs, you’re golden. The saturated fats are great for testosterone, and you’re not getting the trans fats from their fried cousins.
That is all.
If you’re following the Man Diet, you’ll know that you can follow the diet to a tee, enjoy your foods, and dine like a damn king.
Don’t Eat Like a Vegan Hippie
Don’t listen to all this nonsense about “eat healthy this Superbowl Sunday”. Eat like a damn man and enjoy the day. I know most of you don’t pay attention to that stuff, but for those of you who have wives who are nagging you to “keep it under control” this Super Bowl, don’t. Have fun. It’s one day. And you can use either of the above tactics to use the Super Bowl to stay optimal. Enjoy your wings, your beer, and may you dine like a king.