This isn’t something that can happen over night, and it won’t. It’s a lifelong battle of self-awareness and self-confidence. Only the most confident, and most self-aware people are able to handle real honesty. Next time you ask for brutal honesty, and someone gives it to you, pay attention to how you want to react.

Is it your first instinct to fight back? Do you immediately want to defend yourself, or explain why you’re doing this and not that? That’s insecurity. We all have it. We should all learn to get rid of it.

Not one of us is perfect. If we can allow others to be brutally honest with us, without fighting back, being hurt by there honesty, or getting emotional about their answers, the world would be a better place.

Ask For It

People aren’t simply going to start calling you out when you need to be called out, or cutting you to the core when you need to be cut to the core. You may need to ask for it.

I have a few people in my life who will… I just need to get better at leaving my fury emotions out of it – thanks for the Italian blood, Mom. It’s not just about being cold and calculative, that’s not what I’m saying at all. There are just times when emotions serve no beneficial purpose.

In business, they can hurt us. In relationships, they can cloud the mind and be detrimental. In criticism, they can definitely put an end to honesty, leave us feeling hurt, and the deliverer of that honesty reluctant to ever being so honest again.

Do this only with those who are closest to you. Ask your mentors for brutal honesty. Your parents. Your friends. Think about asking for it only in certain areas, and at certain times. Then relish it. Appreciate it.

If I’m being lazy, I will be told. If I’m not living up to my potential, I’ll hear about it. I’m a lot better because of this.

Be Brutally Honest With Yourself

The only way to be okay with other’s honesty, is to start with yourself. If we’re going to be good at anything in life, we need to hold ourselves accountable.

Life is a war.

It is one on many levels. We are at battle daily with the Resistance, we’ll call it our lazy side. The Resistance is devious and cunning. It’s within us. We lie to ourselves, trick ourselves, rationalize our laziness, procrastination, and fear. We somehow make it okay to give up, stop working.

The only way we’re going to become better men, is if we learn how to handle criticism. The more it hurts and cuts us to the core, the better. Self improvement starts internally. If we can learn how to be brutally honest with ourselves, we’re going to be much better at taking criticism from others.