First, some words of wisdom from Don Corleone:
“A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”
“It’s an old habit. I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men.”
Defining what a man’s man is has become a bit more difficult over the years. It’s probably easier to talk about what a man’s man isn’t than what he is.
True masculinity has become distorted. A man’s man doesn’t beat people up to show how tough he is, however, he definitely knows how to take care of himself and defend others. He’s respected by both men and women, he can diffuse a tense situation with his mouth or fists.
He takes care of his family, takes care of his friends, and is the best he can be. He looks out for himself second, yet always takes care of his shit. He doesn’t whine, complain, wish he were someone else or in someone else’s shoes. He’s his own man and makes the most of whatever cards he’s been dealt.
A man’s man is reliable, dependable, and spontaneous.
I could go on for hours about what a man’s man is, but wouldn’t it be more beneficial to talk about how to become one?
A guide to being a man’s man
1. Always look people in the eye
Show people that they’re worth your time,and let them know that you’re listening to what they have to say by looking them in the eye. But, and this is a big but, also show them that you’re to be respected as well by doing the same thing. Don’t look at the floor, don’t be intimidated because there’s nothing to be intimidated about, in any situation!
We’re all people, we all have our weaknesses and strengths and we’re all created equal so treat people as your equal on both ends of the spectrum.
Eye contact coupled with a firm handshake lets people know you’re to be taken serious, it lets them know that you’re here and not someone who’s to be dismissed or disregarded. Practice both with your family members and if you’re not already, begin doing both with people you’re just introduced to.
2. If you have something worth saying, say it. If not, don’t.
Don’t just talk for the sake of spitting out words. I understand small talk, and the fact that you have to be apart of the discussion, but don’t just spit out nonsense. Think about what you’re saying, if it adds to the conversation in an intellectual sense, humor sense or if it just adds to the conversation in any way, don’t be afraid to speak up.
What you have to say is just as important as what anyone else has to say. A lot of it has to do with confidence. Being a confident guy shows that you have your own thoughts, your own dreams and you’re your own person, you’re not trying to be someone else.
3. Be your own man
Don’t be so infatuated with being this “ultimate guy“, just be yourself. People who aren’t genuine might get away with it for a while, but in the end people will see through them. Be who you are and stand by your thoughts, beliefs and morals. Don’t be afraid to take a stance and stand up for something you believe in, and don’t be afraid to try something new or experience something that you would normally shy away from.
A man’s man commands respect, not so much by how he walks into a room, or even how he carries himself, although those are two important qualities. He commands respect by being his own person, being a leader and treating people with kindness and respect.
If there’s one thing a man’s man isn’t, he isn’t a slime-ball, he’s not conniving or underhanded. Everything is out in the open. He’s not going to take advantage of someone in a moment of weakness, rather help them get back on their feet.
What makes a guy a “man’s man” or a real man?