So how do you take control over your own thoughts? Start by being aware of what you’re thinking. Spend a couple days writing down what you’re thinking. Write down your negative thoughts, why you’re having them, and if they are at all helping you in life. Also write your happy thoughts down and ask the same questions.
You’ll find that your negative thoughts are completely useless – especially the thoughts focused on fear and worry – but the happy thoughts, if at the very least give you more energy and help you enjoy life more, will add to your success. If you’re always worrying and fearing outcomes that have not yet occurred, you will not be a happy person.
Third, Don’t Worry.
So you’ve snatched control of what you’re thinking, now you have the power to rid worry from your mind and your life.
There’s one thing that you need to understand as a fundamental truth: Worry is useless. It does no good, it only brings bad things to your life.
To get rid of your worries you have to be aware of them. Our worries are often underlying emotions. They’re fears, sometimes hidden ones, that manipulate our self-talk and prevent us from enjoying life.
Once again, write down your worries and work through them. Go through them in this order.
a. Write down what you’re worried about.
b. Identify the absolute worst possible outcome.
c. Write down the most likely outcome (think positively when writing this outcome).
d. Write down the best possibly outcome.
e. Hustle. Do what you can to make the best possibly outcome the reality.
f. Accept whatever outcome arises.
After you’ve worked your butt off, there’s really nothing else you can do. Be okay with that. After that point there’s no benefit to worry – not that there ever was. If you don’t stop it in its tracks, worry will eat away at your soul and suck all of your happiness from your life. Don’t let it. You’ve got too much to lose to let you get beaten down and defeated by your own damn thoughts.
Fourth, Define Success Properly.
We’ve gone over this already, but the point needs to be made on its own…
Your definition of success will most likely have the greatest impact on your happiness.
Success in life has to be tied to your happiness, and the things you hold most important in your life, like family. If seeing your family happy and free from worry means you’re a success, you’ll do whatever you need to do to make that come true – which will make you a much happier person.
If doing what makes you happy is how you define success, you’ll find yourself doing things that make you happy rather than projects that simply make you rich. By doing things that help your family but also improve your happiness, you’re going to love what you do, how you make a living, and what you’re giving your time to. You’ll have more energy, make more money, and be far more creative than you would be if your compass for success merely led you down a road to fame and riches.
Happiness, when it’s how you define success, isn’t elusive. When you do it, you compound its effect. This isn’t a milestone because it’s not a singular act like making a million dollars, its something you do, and something you are, so the more you do it the better you’ll get at it.
Spend more time doing the shit you love for those you love most. Success and happiness will be your lifelong partners in life.
Define your success like you’ll wish you had when you’re 80 years old.
Fifth, Greet People With a Smile.
People will either aid you in your quest to be a happier person, or they’ll remove happiness from your life. What you’ll find is that their impact on you is completely on your shoulders.
No matter the situation, greet people with a smile. Whether you’re seeing a friend, meeting a new person, or buying a coffee at your local cafe, greet everyone with a smile. For one, you’ll make more friends because more people will like you, but you’ll find that everyone will smile back. And having more happy people in your life is a very simple and easy way to be more happy yourself.
Be your own contagious driving force behind your desire to be happy, and simply smile more.
Sixth, Be Grateful.
Wherever you are right now, you can be happy. It won’t, however, happen by chance, you have to make it happen.
To create this happiness simply count your blessings. Every day I write down 3 different things I’m genuinely grateful for. The key words are genuine, and different. Don’t write down the same 3 things. Vary them. Be passionate about them.
This exercise, as much as any other I’ve talked about, will help you be happier so you can do more and succeed to greater heights.
Seventh, Live With Honor.
You’re not going to be happy if you’re not proud of the man you are. You need to be a man of honor to be a truly happy person. You can’t have one without the other. It’s impossible.
How do you live with honor?
You live in alignment with your values. Sure you’ll fuck up here and there, that’s all a part of the process, but learn from those fuck ups and become a better man as a result of them, don’t let them pull you away from your values.
Also, treat people well, think of others before you think of yourself, and be good. If you do those things it becomes evermore difficult not to be happy, happy, happy.