Comments on: To Become an Alpha Male You Must Seek the Uncomfortable

By: Briana Borja

Briana Borja — Mon, 06 Nov 2017 06:47:00 +0000

This article has some pretty good advice for people who just need some direction in life. I think it’s good that it promotes being healthy in favor of pursuing momentary pleasures that inevitably lead you to toxic behaviors and being around toxic people, but it seems to not be very well defined. In my opinion, an Alpha Male should not simply distance themselves who bring them down, because that can be interpreted as simply staying away from any and everyone who disagrees with you. No, an Alpha Male should stay away from people who are toxic but know that not everyone will agree with them but that doesn’t mean that everyone is going to like you or agree with you, and that’s okay. You don’t need to be close to them if you don’t want you, and that’s okay. But sometimes it it’s nice to take other people’s opinions with a grain of salt. You may not agree with them, but the different perspective can influence how you view the subject and that in itself can be a change for the better.
My only problem with the article is that it says that you should never rely on anyone. It’s okay to not always be strong 24/7. Of course that is the exact opposite of the idea of an Alpha Male, an Alpha Male has to be strong, they have be manly, they have to be tough, etc. But the truth of the matter is, you’re stronger when you have a large network of people you can rely on. No one can be tough all the time, no one can be emotionally strong enough to carry the burden of their own struggles and those of others without a little help. It’s okay to not always be strong. I think that’s a problem that hits men more than women, because women typically have a network of friends to rely on or to talk about their issues, and men typically don’t. They may have a lot of friends but they may be more shallow, no one likes talking about their feelings or their life problems unless they’re drunk or has broken down. I don’t think it should have to get to the point where people have to break down to be weak.
Relying on others for help isn’t weak. Sometimes life kicks you in the nuts and straight up does not give a shit, and you can’t get up on your own.
My dad was an immigrant, and when he first moved to America he was taken advantage of at every turn. He worked for less than minimum wage because he couldn’t find a job where he could get paid enough money to raise 2 kids and a dog so he had to take what he could get. He had to rely on Welfare to get enough money to make ends meet and we still didn’t have enough money. And in his country it wasn’t socially acceptable to rely on others. You had to get in literal street fights just to get to keep any food you had on you, and he had to swallow his pride and ask for help from his friends to get some food. And I’ll be damned if he wasn’t the hardest worker I have ever seen in my life. He would work (as a construction worker, mind you) even if his hands were bloody and his fingers were broken. And he would make sure everyday that he could come home to make sure that me and my sister got to eat enough.
If it wasn’t for the help of his friends and the American welfare system I don’t think I’d even be able to tell this tale today.
Look, you can ask for help, and still be strong. You don’t need to carry the whole weight yourself when you can just ask for help and go even farther than if you did it alone. Some of the world’s greatest minds and successes made to where they are today because they got help. Whether it’s emotional or financial, mental or physical, it’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to want to have comfort or to even have wants. You’re human, not a machine, and being human is enjoying what life has to offer. Being dependant on others doesn’t hurt you in any way unless you’re OVERLY dependant. Just find a healthy balance and continue on being the manly man that you are.

By: Pramit Das

Pramit Das — Sun, 15 May 2016 21:02:00 +0000

Nice read.

I find it uncomfortable to to bring up issues/confront/argue with people whom I know but not exactly friends with: people who come between close friends and complete strangers. Typical examples are roommates, some guy at my office but not a colleague, guy living in the same hostel/batch-mate but not a friend: especially people who are rude/arrogant as perceived from their talk and behavior. The fear comes from the prediction of their refusal (they refuse to cooperate on what I want them to do/follow: because of the the fact that I talk with these people very less; thus when I speak, speaking up and/or possibly arguing with them about their behavior and telling them what I want them to do seems bossy which won’t go down well with them because of their egos) or retaliation(they bring up trivial issues later with me as a form of retaliation). I feel like telling them, for example, that they(4 persons) should stop playing carom at 2 am in the night in the shared room when I am trying to sleep, but end up saying that they should keep it down as I am trying to sleep. Is this because I speak/talk much less than an average person(I am an introvert and mostly mind my own business) or is this natural to most people?

By: Nipun Ramani

Nipun Ramani — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 17:48:00 +0000

The human mind is an addict by birth. It is driven by 4 hormones, namely:
Dopamine, the “I feel good and satisfied in doing this and that(like Sex)” hormone;
Serotonin, which gives the feeling of abundance and social dominance;
Oxytocin, the love hormone or the feeling of safety in a relationship (like the feeling of hugging your dear mum) and;
Adrenaline which is the hormone realeased during tense situation.
We crave all of them.
Freedom is technically being free from the the grip of these 4 hormones and having the full control of your situation.
Modern day apps and game developers make you use their products by influencing these 4 hormones in your brain so that you are hooked onto them, like Facebook and Twitter.

Great article, by the way. Loved it.

By: AdvanceMen

AdvanceMen — Wed, 28 Oct 2015 22:55:00 +0000

Reading before bed! Great post Chad.

By: Chad Howse

Chad Howse — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:04:00 +0000

In reply to Thomas Engdal. Appreciate it man! And we've all been there. Every now and then I need to remind myself why I hate drinking too much by drinking too much and having that ringing headache and hangover as a painful reminder to stay disciplined. It's all a part of the process.

By: Chad Howse

Chad Howse — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:03:00 +0000

In reply to renzo. Appreciate it brother!