1. “hey Dad! watch this!” where would that go if your Dad were at risk of a lawsuit for it? if that kid had gone home, told his parents about it, who then called a lawyer on your Dad, how would that work? if that kid had presence of mind to repeat that to his own parents/lawyer, it could be said that your Father encouraged you to assault the other kid. which is half-true. would that lesson be worth your Dad’s losing the house for some ridiculous damage amount? how would he -or you handle that same issue in today’s litigious society?

2. where could this have gone in today’s gang infested world? where would you be if a few hours or few weeks after you rightfully popped that kid, you found yourself getting a beatdown after school from one or two dozen gangbanger kids stomping on your head?

in the sane world you grew up in, popping that kid was the thing to do. i don’t believe we as men should cower in the corner afraid of either lawyers or crips, at the same time, i think the advice requires adjustment against the possibility of getting stomped into a coma by a dozen or so feral kids, losing the house in a frivolous lawsuit or having child protective services come & take you away because your Dad was “encouraging you to assault others”.

again, i think you & your Dad were/are right. but how does one adjust this to our present ridiculous world?

thanks for what you do & thanks for your thoughts.

That’s a great way to put it, and this convo between fathers and sons is something that every father and son needs to have, forget about what society tells us to do.

Well put: it’s not the avoidance of emotion, but rather the choice to give in to it or not…or better yet…knowing the right time and the right place to show it rather than let emotion control your actions.

Stoicism is a manly art that is hard to find these days. I think your article describes it perfectly…it’s not the avoidance of emotion, but rather the choice to give in to it or not. The choice to show weakness or to bury it deep and release it later. I’ve often thought of my own father in regards to the idea of Stoicism and thought about how I’ve seen him with with broken bones and/or broken spirit and with both he quietly kept moving forward to finish the task at hand. Maybe later in a quiet moment alone or with my mom, he let it out a bit…I never saw it. He was a rock and a steadying influence in my life as a result of not wavering or allowing buffetings change his course. He knew and had confidence in that he was doing good and right things and he was raising my brothers and I to be honorable men.

To honor that, I do the same in my home with my children.

Great post!!!

Indeed, we may have fears be it to talk about stuff that’s weighing us down or other, more immediate fears. As men, no matter what they are we should face them, and that includes being vulnerable at times. I think in today’s society we’ve gone a little too far with that though. Everyone seems to be complaining or crying about something. It’s refreshing when people just put their head down and do what has to be done.

As you say there is a balance. I was told growing up to never show weakness or emotion to others, no matter the circumstances. That is not the right approach, as men we shouldn’t be afraid to show some vulnerabilities.